On Being Dumped By Your Friend

Why don’t we have more resources for this kind of breakup?

I’ve only written about this once before, and then only vaguely. The essay I wrote about it was called “How to Cut Your Own Bangs.” Here’s what I said then:

At the end of my New Orleans visit there was a loss. This is intentionally cryptic because the loss had to do with a person, and although I am fairly sure that this person does not read my blog, it’s still not fair to write about this experience — not really — without their permission. And I don’t want to get their permission, because I don’t want to talk to them. I am not sure when I will be ready to talk to them.

It’s been five years since this breakup. I’ve written about many other things, including but not limited to my sex drive while being pregnant, polyamorous finances, and talking to my therapist about Palestine. But I haven’t written anything about this. And this was the most important personal event of my adult life.

This illustration, like all these illustrations, is made by me, Sophie Lucido Johnson.

The person in question I am going to call Adele, after the singer Adele. In real life, this person has almost nothing in common with the singer Adele, except they both probably like green juice (?). I have been told by editors that this is what you’re supposed to do when changing a name: choose one that’s so far away from the true name that…