When Your Life Ceases To Be Interesting

Leaving Your Twenties And Entering Mid-Life Gracefully Does Not Have To Be The End Of The World

In my twenties, my life was full of stories filled with twists and turns; sparkles; peaks and valleys. The stories in my mind take this shape:

That’s right: The shape of a magnificent crystal with countless sides and edges and corners and (I’ll say it again because I’m not sure you heard me the first time) sparkles. You want an example*, and I get that. So here’s the story of how I met and started dating a man I’m going to call Boris. Come along with me on this crystal-shaped journey, won’t you?

Exactly three people had told me that I was destined to date Boris. We were both special education teachers, we both did comedy, we both wore glasses, and we had remarkably similar personalities. So when I finally met Boris at a party, I understood we were supposed to date, and so did he. The only thing I remember from the night we met was that I was wearing amazing salmon-toned silk shorts, and that I got six mosquito bites in the shape of a constellation on my ankle. I wish I could remember even one single thing about meeting Boris, but alas, I can only remember thinking, “I’m glad I met Boris on the night that I wore these hot silk shorts, because I look great; unless he…