Why Chosen Family Is Critical

And How To Build It.

My husband Luke, my daughter T, and I live in Chicago, which is 930 miles from Beaufort, South Carolina; 1,002 miles from Beverly, Massachusetts; and 2,121 miles from Portland, Oregon. These are the cities where our parents live. I just want you to know that it’s logistically difficult for any of them to come over on a Saturday night so Luke and I can go see a movie.

We have friends with kids whose parents live closer, and their lives are different. One night I was at a comedy show with a group, but without Luke (because Luke and I usually go to things alone now, so the other one can stay home with T), and I witnessed two parents (TWO!) in our group, attending the same show. We showed each other phone pictures of our respective children. (This is a horrible thing I hoped I would never do, but having a child is like having a weird disease that makes you reflexively pull out whatever electronic device is on your person to show anyone you’re talking to barely relevant photos of your offspring. You can try to fight this, but there’s no known cure.) Their child was just a few weeks older than my child. So… how were they BOTH here? Where was their child?

“Oh, his grandparents are watching him,” came the reply. The child was going to spend the night with the grandparents! The two (TWO!) parents were going to get very drunk tonight, stay out very late, and then sleep in the next day.